Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Post Partum.

This picture makes me laugh a lot. It's like I am a real life mom or something. I'll look like this for the next ten years or so. Baby in one arm, diaper bag in the other. Also, my hair is a gazillion inches long.

I lost all of my baby weight in about 2 weeks from when I had Mr. Apollo. Not that that is normal or anything. And obviously my body isn't exactly the same as it was 9 months ago. And it's not like I was skinny before or anything, but I am feeling good! I'm glad that I didn't have a rough recovery. A few days after Apollo was born, I took him to the pediatrician, and the woman next to me had to sit on one of those inflatable doughnuts. Yikes. So glad I didn't have to deal with that.

The first two weeks after I had Apollo I had the major baby blues. I won't go into it too much, but I pretty much cried everyday about the smallest things. I felt like Aaron and I had no time together, it was always separate with baby or together with the baby. My mom told me she felt this way when she had me, and I always thought it sounded so... silly (sorry mom), like DUH having a baby is going to change your relationship right? But now I completely understand that feeling now. But now it just feels right having a little baby in our family and we still have time to just be Bonnie and Aaron. I think a major factor contributing to the blues was that Breast feeding hurt, took forever and still I have no idea if my baby is getting enough to eat which is really stressful. But it all got better.

I do love having a newborn. It's so much fun to be a mom, even though sometimes feel like I am just waiting and waiting for him to stop crying/to just go to sleep. My favorite times of the day are when he is slowly drifting off to sleep. Is that terrible of me?

Yesterday was awesome. It was almost as if he just realized who I am all of a sudden. He looked up at me and said "Ah!" and gave me a big toothless grin.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

I'm going to upload this photo and pretend that he wasn't screaming his head off. yes. he was just smiling and cooing.

Hoping I've found the cure to the morning fussiness.
I think after a long night in the bassinet, maybe he just misses me and needs to be close.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Evening mommy-hood.

I love my baby sleeping on my chest like this. He is so sweet.

My brother came home from his mission to North Carolina on Wednesday, and so far it has been a blast. Also, my cousin Eliza was married on Friday, so between the two, Apollo and I have had a busy 3 days. Today I am enjoying being home with both of my boys.

Being a mom is crazy and awesome. My life revolves around whether Apollo is getting enough to eat. And honestly, how could you know? Do I trust a three week old to tell me he's hungry?? really?? I'm slowly realizing I need to just chill out and roll with whatever feeding pattern he wants. As for sleep (everyone seems to ask), I feel like I'm getting enough but I am definitely not. I have the energy to do whatever I need to do, but then by the end of the day I CRASH and barely wake up to feed the baby, or fall asleep while feeding the baby. It's hard for me to nap during the day, even though everyone says "sleep when the baby sleeps" thats really hard to do. I thought it would be a breeze. Psych.

Breastfeeding is definitely getting better. Really that's all I have to say about that. I remember someone in my last ward (before I was even pregs) out of the blue telling me that I needed to stick out breastfeeding for 13 days, and thats when it will stop hurting. And... it did!

I think my hardest times are when he's crying and I know he's not hungry and not wet and I just have no idea what to do for him. I never thought a baby's cries could affect me so much. It sounds different when it's someone else's baby - easy to ... ignore... not that I would ignore a baby's crying, but I wouldn't panic when I couldn't figure out what's wrong... does that make sense? Anyway, Aaron swoops in and saves the day with a cuddle. I get so caught up in the details like, is he uncomfortable? Hungry? Trying to poo? That I don't realize that maybe he just needs a blankie and a pal.

My very favorite thing right now is playing with Apollo. Sometimes he will be crying and all he needs is for someone to shake a rattle in front of him and he quiets down and gets real serious. He's so sweet. Gah! I love my Polli-bear

Lovin' it.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Two Weeks.

Aaron calls Apollo "Little Baby Guy", we probably call him that more than anything else. Our little baby guy is now 8 pounds, 9 ounces. At two weeks he gained a whole pound from birth! Whaaat? I feel like that is awesome, and makes me think this whole milk thing is working out for him. It's hard to know if he gets enough nutrition.

He has also grown an inch and a half! which puts him at 21 and 1/2 inches and in the 86th percentile for height.

And as for me, I'm back to what I was before I was pregnant. Freakin' Awesome! Now I just have to lose like 20 pounds.. ha.

I feel like there isn't much to say about me and what I've been up to. I'm just busy being Apollo's mom, and googling everything that I think might be wrong with him.

Today was kind of rough. On Tuesday he had his circumcision which I really hate worrying about. One time we took off his diaper and he started bleeding a ton and I called the doctor frantically, and she was like "no worries, it stopped right?" I feel like everything is 100000X worse to me than it really is. Like worrying about his umbilical cord- I had him lying on my stomach, and when I picked him up I must have rubbed it against my shirt and it was half off and you would have thought I killed the boy I felt so bad about it. He didn't even cry! I have to remind myself that there are worse parents out there than me, and their kids turn out just fine.

Anyway, I think his circumcision must be bothering him because it seemed like he cried all day today. I took him outside just in my arms and we went for a short walk and he was in a daze. He LOVED it outside. We've taken him for walks in the stroller, but I think being able to feel the wind on his face or something just made him calm down.

Love this guy!

This is him after we went on our walk. I think he was still day dreaming about it.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Mother's Day

Mothers day? Mother's day? Mothers' Day?

I'll never know.

But here are the detes:

I spent a nice quiet day at home with my number one sweetheart. I love him to pieces.
He's definitely his mother's child, if you've ever heard me hiccup... Well it's loud.

and alsoooo:

Some pearl earrings from my sweet husband. yeah, he's the best.

I also got five minutes to talk to my awesome baby brother, Zach. He is coming home from his mission in 9 days! I haven't seen this boy in two years, he is my best friend. He is excited to meet Mr. Apollo.

Being a mom is awesome and that first week was definitely an emotional roller coaster. Those baby blues come at you hard and fast! I am not sure if I have gone a day without crying about something [usually something silly]. I love visitors, but I REALLY like spending time with my little bitty family. Today we took a family nap... Parents on the couch, babe in the bassinet... and maybe we only got an hour of shut eye but I feel rejuvenated and happy as a clam.
Also, our sweet little baby learned how to cry and cried the entire night last night. How fitting for Mothers Day! The more we fall into a routine (if you can even call it that....), the easier the days seem to go by. One thing though I can't say I'm in love with is BREASTFEEDING. I am definitely a huge advocate for breast feeding, and I will continue to do it, but man... nobody told me how much it HURT. And that they can spend up to an HOUR eating. Maybe my babe just likes to take his time, but I will start feeding him at 6 am, finish at 7 and then he is ready to eat again at 8:30. I do love spending that time with him, and I'm lucky he hasn't had trouble latching or anything. But how easy would it be to just make a bottle.... and give it to my husband.... so easy. But it's all good. I don't know how people go back to work after just a month with their baby. I love him.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

More pictures of my cute little boy.

At the hospital Bella Baby came and took some sweet photos of my new little baby. Here is our latest family photo. I am in love with it.

Here's Apollo at one week:
And here is apollo today:

So cute. I really love my boys.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

A Traumatic Experience.

I just want him to stay 6 days old forever.

Nothing can prepare you for the moment when your first born child pees and poops in the bathtub.

The funny part is yesterday I was so worried because he wouldn't poop...

The bath was going well (as well as a newborn screaming fit can go) and then he peeped in his face... You know, no big deal right? Well then as we sat him up to do his back I heard this giant toot and well.... basically that was it for me. My mother in law was laughing her head off as I was saying "Well, I'm done, good luck over here..." it was hilarious. I've bathed him twice since we've been home, and I will make sure someone is there again next time too. And the next. In fact I will never bathe this child alone.

Today I changed four diapers in an hour. Seriously. My sister in law was changing his diaper when a beautiful stream of yellow sprayed him in the face. She panicked and stepped away, while I (The amazing new mother I am) caught the stream in my hands. Not before it hit his entire face/mouth. HAHA. I love being a mom to this guy:
My hair looks like an octopus in this picture. Just picture only the hair...

HA!! I love it.