Friday, April 29, 2011

A really long post about Apollo's birth.

(here is my attempt at journaling my experience becoming apollo's momma. Don't feel like you have to read this... or comment.. My brain is all over the place.)

Eee. I love my baby so much. He is the best.

This is going to be a mess -- but I just wanted to write this down for me really fast.

I went into the doctor on Monday and the doctor decided to send me over for a Non Stress Test at the hospital because my blood pressure was high. (but also I had just been pulled over so duh my blood pressure was high) they monitored me for a million years and it was normal the rest of the time, but the doctor decided to induce me because the baby's heart beat dropped once and also the other medical stuff thats been going on. I was so excited/scared. I kept feeling really guilty, like I was making the baby come before he needed to. he doctor kept scaring me by mentioning c-section, because there is a higher risk of a c-section with an induction (at least on the first baby, I'm not sure about 2nds or 3rds) I had so much to do around the house but I couldn't make myself do anything. I just was in this state of shock and awe that I would be going into the hospital that night, and coming out with a baby.

I went into the hospital at nine, where they gave me Cervidil to kick start my labor by softening the cervix. I had the worst nurse ever. Okay not really but she kept trying to like.... SCARE me about labor. When they had to put an IV in she was like waving the stupid thick needle around and saying how this was the worst part of her labors, and she did it natural and blah blah blah. Instant panic mode. I am so glad my mom was there with me, because Aaron was at work. He came at around midnight and slept on the couch in the room. I think I slept for about an hour and then

Then, they were going to give me Pitocin at 6 am. I didn't expect contractions to start until I was given the Pitocin, but they were there all night long. I started to REALLY feel them at 3 am and that was enough for me. I think I was able to sleep one hour in between 9 and 6 am. I practically begged for the epidural.... I don't really remember most of this but apparently I asked like 6 times about the epidural and Aaron basically wanted to tell me to shut up.
The REAL mistake here is that my nurse mentioned that I could probably get it if I was dilated to x amount, and then LIED TO ME and said I was at x amount. And then she told me what time the anesthesiologist came in. And then her shift was over. So who's REALLY at fault here? (me).

Once I got the epidural I was able to sleep, but to me it seemed like an hour from when I got the epidural that it was time to push. The weird thing about the epidural is that it takes away the stingy ouchy pains, but you can feel all of the pressure. Every hour and a half they would check my cervix to see how dilated I was. (WHICH REALLY REALLY hurt before the epidural) I was stuck at 5 centimeters for about three hours, and they like first time moms to dilate about a cm every hour and a half apparently, so of course they had to worry me about the baby not fitting or something stupid. Anyway, the next check I was about 6 cm dilated, so they weren't worried anymore.

All of a sudden I started to feel like, INTENSE pressure. It seriously felt like a bowling ball resting on my pelvis and I couldn't contract ANY muscles south of the border, if you know what I am saying. It was definitely an odd sensation and would have hurt WAY worse had I not had the epidural, but was intense enough for me as it was. Actually it was a pretty cool feeling. Aaron was super sweet with me after I got the epidural, he tried to distract me with filling out forms (duh, like my number one hobby). I don't think I was very nice with him throughout the process... but I definitely wasn't like mean or mad at him or anything like that. I just wanted to suffer in peace most of the time. Anyway, I started to feel that intense pressure and twenty minutes later had the nurse check me and I was 10 cm dilated and fully effaced -- ready to go. It was so exciting. I have no sense of time for any of this, really, but what we did was "rest and descend" which means I didn't push, we just let the baby come downwith the contractions. So instead of pushing for a million hours, we just did that. Which was really intense. The feeling of needing to push was so strong.

Pushing was really cool. Honestly, the desire to push made it easy to follow directions and do whatever it took to get that baby out. I loved this part, as intense as it was. I only pushed for about twenty minutes. The feeling was so strong, the pressure was crazy and it burned like crazy too. I wish I could explain it. The best part was how much everyone in the room was cheering me on, it was like I had my own cheer squad. Everyone kept saying how good of a pusher I was (but maybe that was just to keep up my spirits)...

The feeling of the baby coming out
was AWESOME. I seriously felt every limb leaving my body. I am definitely not one of those women who miss being pregnant. I do not miss the feeling of the baby moving, having a round, rock hard stomach, I definitely don't miss my allergic reactions to the the pregnancy hormones... being not pregnant is 19453434 times better than being pregnant.

Anyway, the plan was for the baby to be placed on my tummy, but the doctor totally forgot (and apologized 4092490380 times about it) but right above me I got to see Aaron cutting the cord, and our sweet little baby covered in all of his bidness. Aaron grabbed the camera and took a few shots of the baby being cleaned off. And then it was my turn. As the doctor stitched me up, (OW. Worst thing of my life. honestly. I was grabbing the doctors arm the whole time) I was handed my sweet babe, he was cute, and so quiet. Content just to stare at me.



I love him so much.

Everything is honestly such a blur. I feel like such a bad mom sometimes. The baby didn't get to eat for a long time because there were a million people there at one point. Also, we didn't have his bath for a long time for the same reason. I feel so bad writing that, because I didn't realize it at the time. Aaron just told me the nurses said it was okay to go that long without feeding so I shouldn't feel THAT bad.

The first few hours after having Apollo were kind of crazy. Getting up to go to the bathroom was practically traumatic. I had no idea how much you bled after having a baby. I laughed in the nurses face when she showed me my panties and the pads I had to wear. Honestly, I don't know why they don't just put you in a diaper after having a baby... the pads were like 10 inches wide and like 15 inches long or something. At least thats how it seemed. There was a whole process to follow after going to the bathroom and it was just... seriously crazy. I almost died when they said to let them know if I passed a clot bigger than my FIST. What?????

I'm glad I spent the time in the hospital that I did, being a first time mom and everything. It was so nice to have the nurses help you with all of your questions, especially about nursing. But I'm not sure I'd want to spend all the time in there again. At one point they took him away to do a blood test (this makes me so mad) the blood test was for hemophilia, which runs in my family, but they had to get like an adult sized tube of his blood, which is so ridiculous for a days old baby. So I asked them to bring him to me when it was time, and then it took like 3 hours to get him after that. The poor baby went like 6 hours without eating because she kept him away from me for so long, and then was too tired to eat a) because he was starting to get a little jaundice, which makes them sleepy and b) because his blood sugar levels were down :(:(:( ugh it makes me just so sad that she did that. All I wanted was to see my baby... and for him to get some freaking nutrition. As a result, we had to wait an extra 6 hours to leave because they needed to test his blood sugar levels before two feedings. gahhhh it made me sooo sad when they told me his blood sugar levels were "critically low" and I totally cried, thinking I was just the worst mom in the world. As soon as he was fed again his levels went way up, and he was able to leave with us.

Being home is just the best feeling in the world. I am so in love with my little family, and about 90% of the time I'm totally emotional about it. I just want to take care of Aaron and Apollo and do nothing else for the rest of my life. I love them. Aaron supported me so well between pregnancy and definitely through labor and being home with the baby.

Our baby is the sweetest thing. He doesn't cry very much or for very long, and I could just stare at him all day. I know it could change and that he may be quite the crier in a couple of weeks, but for now I just love him. I want to marry him.



Do -

Take a shower before you leave for the hospital

I don't think I was able to shower for 36 hrs after I got to the hospital. My friend even TOLD me to do this, and I forgot. It hadn't been long since I took a shower, but next time I will make sure I get the best shower EVER before I go.

Get a pedicure/facial/manicure

This is probably the best preparation I did for childbirth. Yeah, maybe my feet, face, and hands swelled up to giant proportions, but DANG my toes looked good and the nurses all told me so.

Ask the nurses for anything you need.
I kept feeling guilty and that I was getting in their way or getting on their nerves.

Let the nurses take the baby overnight.
Now that I'm home, every little coo or wiggle makes me worried he's hungry/wet/thinks that there is a lion out to get him. I'll never sleep again. HE'S SO CUTE. I have heard friends say they couldn't sleep because how could they know that the baby is breathing? I thought that sounded so silly... until last night

Let people bring you dinner.
I saw a woman the other day who had a baby the same day Apollo was born, and I just felt so bad for her. She had to sit on this inflatable donut and was limping to sit down in the waiting room at the pediatric office. That being said, it is a busy time to have to worry about cooking dinner, and I am not nearly in the shape that some people are after their birth experience... ouch.



Thursday, April 28, 2011

Apollo Cody Herrmann.


Apollo Cody Herrmann
April 26th, 2011
2:37pm
Seven Pounds, Nine Ounces

and perfect...





If you asked me how it felt, I couldn't tell you.



Sunday, April 24, 2011

One week.....

Seriously, who can believe I'm still pregnant.

I'm back on that thing where I don't sleep (even on ambien, freak me out)

but it's cool. One day (SOON, PLEASE) I'll have a little baby keeping me up instead of itchy palms.

yeeeaaay!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Almost 39 weeks and a word about my pregnant body.


Here are some cute pictures Aaron took of me. My hair is freshly dyed and I am feeling good with a manicure and it looks like i put makeup on for once.... but dont' be fooled there is also this picture where my belly doesn't look round or cute and I weigh a million lbs.

What do you think?


I feel like I am happy with my pregnant body. I've accepted the fact that I am huge, and that everyone will tell me so. I don't think my pregnancy could have been better in that way. I'm stretched to the point of no return, (okay maybe not no return...) I've gained exactly the amount my doctor wanted me to (not necessarily what I wanted to ), I've taken care of myself. I was lucky enough to not get a puffy face, or gain a ton of weight anywhere but my stomach.

I'm 5'2 and there is literally nowhere for this baby to go but out, although other people can't accept this and ask how much weight I've gained or ask if I'm having twins or ask if I'm overdue, I feel like I am just.... just pregnant.

Things I want other people to know:

Don't stress about weight gain. Be as healthy as you can be (I know I wasn't ;) ) and you will gain what your body needs you to gain.
Stretch marks: if you have ever had them (anywhere), you will probably get them. Some people do not get them, but try not to compare. Accept that you will probably get them or you are in for a long and depressing ride. There are tons of "home remedies" that say that they will prevent them buuuuut, really just accept that you will get them and go from there.

and also... looking at that pictures I think that wearing tighter shirts make you look pregnant, and drapey clothes or dresses make you look fat and ugly. I haven't really worn much tight clothing, but just looking at those pictures I think it might be true...






Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Adriannnnnne.

I just had the best day I have had in awhile!

Adrianne and I bought the 22$ facial, pedicure and manicure Groupon. We started out at Target, where we found a cute dress for Adrianne's graduation. Then we ate a pretzel.

and then we had facials (My first... amazing)
and I got glitter toes.
and my nails are freshly purple.


THENNNNnnn we drove around Utah looking for anywhere that could give us hair feathers.... they were nowhere to be found. So we decided to go to Sally's where they also didn't sell them -- but the cash register by some luck had brought some to work with her and charged us five dollars.


Awesome.

Add about 5 hours of Adrianne and I being really annoying to our nail technicians and chattering the whole time

Loved it! I almost feel guilty for being on Maternity leave because I had such a great day! LOVE YOU ADRIANNE! thanks for being my bff.

Adventures in Ambien...

Doc put me on Ambien so that I can sleep through the night. After sleeping only 6 hours in three days, I was miserable. Everything has been so much more bearable since I've been able to get to sleep. The nights are definitely the worst!

When I went to the doctor on Monday he agreed to do some tests, but said that they woul take at few days to determine what was goin on, but it looks like I am at least allergic to pregnancy. Yeah that sounds weird... But I guess it's pretty common to become allergic to the pregnancy hormones in the last few weeks of pregnancy. When I went into the doctor, he said we would induce if the test came back high, other wise he would do it in one more week.

As soon as I was able to sleep through the night, though, I felt 204% better. And I'm hoping to convince him to just let me go naturally. I can rip my skin off for the next week and a half? right? He could just tell how miserable I was. (mostly because I cried really hard). My feet are definitely in constant pain so I made my way over to Old Navy and bought myself some 2 dolla flip flops. all in all, I'm good, the baby is good. And whatever, in ten days or so It will all be over.

Really I haven't had a bad pregnancy experience minus this, and through dr. google research it seems that it really only happens in first pregnancies (and apparently is much worse if your'e carrying a boy, go figure). Pregnancy is just so weird. There are soooo many symptoms and things that can go wrong. Sorry I've been such a whiner!


Here's my chat with Aaron the first night I took Ambien:

me
: i hear a cow?
aaron.s.herrmann: hmm
that might be the drugs....
8:21 PM me: heah
8:22 PM aaron.s.herrmann: you still there bebe?
8:23 PM me: veaflh
barely
aaron.s.herrmann: he he
8:24 PM well maybe you should just shut your eyes and put the computer on the floor
:)
me: mehbeh
8:25 PM aaron.s.herrmann: aww I love you when you are sweepy
the doped up kind
8:27 PM me: uh havin funn deams
8:28 PM aaron.s.herrmann: ha ha ha
I bet
drug dreams are the best kind
8:33 PM me: i totally jus drift sauceded
8:37 PM i think i' out
aaron.s.herrmann: he he he
ok
I lub you bebe
have a good sleepy time
:)


I won't even get into the part where I woke him up in the middle of the night to look at my foot which i told him was a craft project. Or the part where this lady was sitting in a chair next to me "helping me" with my craft project. Or the part where a goblin made fun of this girl who was wearing a wedding dress.

BUT, i will tell you I told aaron the Goblin was a little boy because I didn't want to scare him. but then he asked "Is the little boy Apollo?" and I snapped at him "APOLLO WOULD NEVER DO THAT!" because the goblin was then jumping on the couch.

Other interesting things happened, but I've only heard them second hand. The above is all I remember.

Monday, April 18, 2011

38 weeks.

So it seems like I've developed a condition called Cholestasis, which is a liver malfunction during pregnancy

Basically, the main sign is that the palms of your hands and the soles of your feet become itchy, and then you can get the worst itch of your life over your whole body, and it becomes worse over night. Seriously the last few nights I have only been able to sleep about twenty minutes at a time before waking up. Last night I was able to get to sleep from 12:30 to 12:45 and 2:30 to 3:30, and I was up for the rest of the morning. I have spent hours and hours in a cold shower, let me tell you.

Fetal consequences include:

YUCK. Yeah, not the best of situations for the baby. It's a pretty rare condition, but my cousin recently went through the same thing, and throughout my family there have been troubles with jaundice and things like that. Usually, it's recommended to induce at 37 weeks with this condition. I'm scared to go to the doctor today and for him not to not to induce me or give me medication because he needs to do tests that take about a week to get back.

I don't really want to be induced, but the stuff above is dangerous, and I'm seriously the most miserable I've ever been in my life. Mostly the fact that I can't get relief by sleeping is the hardest part. Antihistamines don't help, I cannot stay asleep! I've been sleeping on my couch so I don't keep Aaron up all night. And lets be honest, I'm okay with meeting my baby...

I know inductions on first time moms can sometimes lead to emergency c-sections, and I am definitely not someone who wants a c-section, especially on my very first baby. I don't want to be limited in my options in other pregnancies, but honestly I feel like this would be the best for me and the baby. In fact I keep praying that I will just naturally go into labor. 38 weeks is definitely a safe time for the baby, he should be healthy and fully developed.

I'm writing this from work. I almost didn't come today because of everything that is going on, but I did NOT want to sit at home completely miserable. We had friends over last night and the distraction really helped with all the worry and pain (... and swelling, and redness, and fatigue, and nausea...). At least here at work I have a purpose and I have something to keep my mind off of everything.


A few weeks ago I had a dream that I came home from work and Aaron had magically cleaned my car. My car has been full of stuff since our move, because I haven't been able to carry any of it up. Anyway, yesterday as I was sitting on a chair in an i-haven't-slept-in-two-days haze, Aaron said "Well, we have an hour until everyone is coming over... maybe I'll clean your car for half an hour and then head to the store real fast," and I bawled. Seriously, it felt like the nicest thing that anyone has ever done for me.


Thursday, April 14, 2011

17 days...

The countdown continues.

I am so glad I got pregnant when I did and not a month or two later. Let me tell you I AM BURNING UP! I am sitting here at my desk and everyone else is wearing hoodies and all sorts of pull overs. I am gonna diiiie. No okay it's not that bad. But it's snowing outside and i'm steaming up? There's something wack about that.

Not to mention the fact that it's mid April and still snowing. I will never get used to this Utah weather. Also, it recently came to my attention that people consider me "from Utah" even though I've lived out here for just a few short years. Oh well. might as well buy myself a bump-it and get on with my life. But I'm going to start considering BYU students "from Utah" if this keeps up.

I want to go to the beach.

I'm going to try to make it a whole 'nother week at work. as sleepy and uncomfortable as I am it will be nice to have that last paycheck and 3 months to do nothing but stare at a baby. Okay yeah I'll be a lot busier than that... :)

Monday, April 11, 2011

20 Days!

my favorite baby thing -- quilt made by my mom
20 days to go? Whhhhaaat? I can handle that... I think.

I was totally whining about it when I was calling it 3 weeks an hour ago. Hopefully counting down the days will help. I nap a lot these days.

I went to the doctors today, everything is the same and normal (boring). Oh but I did lose two pounds since last appointment! Ha. I'd be ok with not gaining any more weight. Lets be real.

I've washed all of the bottles, clothes, diapers and towels. And scored an awesome tub and bassinet from my friend Laura. Really, I don't need anything else so I should probably stay away from the baby aisle for awhile. But, I did buy a Johnny Jump up (mostly because Apollo's girlfriend, Lydia has one). Oh, and a rubber ducky that was probably not necessary. I just love him.


Sunday, April 10, 2011

37 Weeks.

I am officially full term. You don't really want to hear me whine. But, I'm done. I'm ginormous, tired, and ugly.

Good things:


I am eating a granny smith apple right now.
I am taking Monday through Wednesday off this week.
I am on my way to take a nap.

I'd show you a picture of my cankles, but I'm just not sure you want to see that.

Friday, April 8, 2011

My new couch! It's pretty. I'd tell you the story about how it came to me, but I guess it's pretty boring.
In other news - I'm a furniture hoarder.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Aaron is really funny.

SOOO there are about 25 days til my due date, and although today I was really paranoid I was going into labor.... I'm not. I'm still working and I'm taking next week off I have a ton of Paid time Off saved up - and then possibly going back for another week - and then taking maternity leave. It's gonna be the BOOOOMB. And I want to have a baby some day. Aaron says the baby will be born 4/27/11. What say ye? My guess is never ever.


Sweet conversation with my husband:



And honestly doesn't say bad words. (Even though his wife curses like a sailor)



p.s. just now he said
"yessss! I think its been a while since I did anything blog-worthy,"

I LUB him.

Friday, April 1, 2011