Thursday, December 29, 2011

the four pictures I took of Christmas.

My gift wrapping. totally trendy right? I bought the paper for Aaron's Halloween Costume, and I thought I would do something cute with it for Christmas. Little did I know Pinterest was already all over the brown paper packages. I spent WAY too long wrapping gifts.
The Christmas Scene. A car seat for Christmas! Yes please! The pack 'n' play was filled with "pit balls" which I thought 100 balls would cover. I was wrong. Typical. My brain can't handle things like that. Like seeing stacks of lids at a fast food restaurant. Unless they're labeled small, medium, and large, for the life of me I cannot guess which one will fit the cup. Ask me how many times I've tried to fit a large lid on a small cup and I will not be able to tell you.
Paul enjoying his "ball pit" (idea also from Pinterest). Also a side note: Apollo is peeing though his size 3 overnight diapers and I still have 30 left. Awesome.
 Aunt Jean's Christmas dinner.

Also, I took pictures of myself and Aaron separately with Apollo and said "You know, just in case we get divorced or something," That joke would have been funny at my family's Christmas party, but I'm not sure how it worked at Jean's. Ah well. C'est la vie!

Whoa, I just wrote a ton of crap.

Remember that one year (2009, 2010?) when everyone and their dog's new years resolution was "simplify"? Usually that seemed to turn into complicate, and everyone decided to reorganize their kitchen/schedule/junk room.

But lately I've really been thinking about simplifying my life. I spend way too much time on the computer (to be honest, I'm online all day every day at work). I cut out Facebook for awhile and I feel like I could breathe for awhile.

My phone has been dead for at least a week. I feel like I am free! I'm really just too lazy to find my charger and plug it in, but whatever.

Months ago I stopped watching tv/netflix/youtube reading blogs or playing games (or cleaning...) when I was home with Apollo. It made my time at home much more enjoyable.

But all of this makes me sound like I'm going to become a hermit and hide from the rest of the world, but what is so wrong with that? Sometimes I want it to just be Apollo, Aaron and me. I don't want to deal with other people or drama. I want to see the people I want to see, good friends, family, quit my job, own a house, get a dog, live off the land... Okay just kidding about that last one.

So can I just disappear for awhile?

I love my friends that I pretty much only talk to online. I really do! Which is why I can't really disappear from the internet. And I don't want to delete all of the annoying people off of Facebook because I love to see how annoying they are. What a dilemma.

Also, I took off this entire week (11 day weekend, holla!!!) and my life is really great right now and I'm the happiest I've ever been. When Apollo was born I wrote the truth about how hard it was and how much he cried and stuff and people would say things like "He sounds like such a screamer," but I really was having the best time of my life. I wrote about pregnancy the way I was really feeling during it. I tried not to sound like a downer and make things dramatic, but I think any kind of discussion about pregnancy is going to sound like a complaint. I'm not going to say I loved having back labor but giving birth was the best thing in the world. The only good things about being pregnant are feeling the baby move and the excitement of meeting your baby. And in my case, the best complexion/hair of my life. I want to keep things honest around here, blog, is that ok? Do I sound like I'm complaining?

Apollo has become such an easy baby (or I've become a less lazy mommy) and he's happy and loves to play. I love being a mom (even in the really hard first three months), I love being a wife.  Even though last month we had zero dollars after all of our holiday shopping - my life is awesome. 

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Best Christmas of My Life.

This has honestly been the best Christmas I have ever been to (or even heard of?), something about having a child made the whole day so magical. I think I took like three pictures the entire day? Oh well.

Some gift highlights:

Receiving two baby bullets (one from Aaron, one from my mom)
Receiving two almost identical grey dresses (One from my aunt, one from my MIL)
Gifting my aunt the same ornament she gifted my mother.
My new (red) Kitchen Aid
Our new Kinect and Android tablet
Apollo's new [loud and blinky] toys that he loves SO MUCH. How did I let him play with simple rattles before now? He's in love with trains. 

We started out our day at midnight. Yes. Aaron and I just cannot wait for Christmas. Last year I think we opened our presents on Christmas eve or before. Aaron did a really good job on my stocking. Stockings in my family have fun gifts, necessities (like make up or underwear), and candy. Aaron's family is an all candy stocking family, so that's what I gave to him (and a lego Harry Potter thing). We bought a treadmill earlier this month for my Christmas present from my boss, and he got me the baby bullet. I got him a professional looking basket ball hoop that hangs over the door (seriously it looks awesome. I think he really liked it), another controller for his XBOX, and the Lord of the Rings movies on BluRay.

When Apollo woke up we took him to open his presents. He never really got the hang of pulling the paper off but once the paper was off he basically attacked all of his toys. I put baby food jars in his stocking :]. It was really fun.

We went to Tammy's house and opened presents with the family, it was really fun. Apollo loves his grandparents and cousin so much. It's so fun to see him interact with them. We had breakfast there and then went over to my family's house to open gifts. It's so nice to have my Aunt and cousin Marci and Sam and her daughter Zoe in Utah to have Christmas and other holidays with us.

Then it was dinner with Aaron's aunt, Jean. I love this tradition. Although Apollo was cranky because he didn't eat much or nap well the entire day it really was pleasant. He loves to watch his cousins play and laugh and Ruth and Devon's puppy play.

Anyway, I used the words So, Really, Love and Fun way too much in this blog post. But right now I am a happy girl. I really am in love with this baby of mine, my sweet husband and my great family.

Love ya!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Christmas-y Thoughts.

This Christmas has been a more emotional, thought provoking one for me. The first Sunday in December, we sang Silent Night and I looked at the little girl next to me who was asleep on her moms shoulder as they sang "sleep in heavenly pea-aaace..." - I seriously had to choke back tears. Jesus was a BABY?! Why have I never thought about it before!

Okay, I know I've thought about the fact that Jesus was a baby before. I wasn't that oblivious before I had a child or anything. Babies are just so small and fragile! Christmas videos like this one I saw on Alyssa's blog, make me cry! I'm a wimp. seriously.

Anyway... I'm just rambling. Apollo's first Christmas is going to be small (and great). I am really in the Christmas spirit these days. I've been thinking a lot about traditions I want to do with our family. He's still so teeny a lot of these won't be so exciting until next year but here's two things I want to do every year. Hopefully we will have more as the years go by.

Lights at Thanksgiving Point

Temple Square
This is my favorite family picture... ever. We don't get to take many pictures together. We do get the ten minute over lap between jobs in the morning when Aaron gets home and in the evening when I get home. One day we will get to sleep in the same bed together :).

I love love love love love love love my life right now. I've honestly never been happier in my life. Although my bank account and scale aren't the happiest with me, I will forever cherish this time with my little family. I love Apollo's baby-ness. Sometimes I think about him walking and talking and I can't fathom it. He's starting to crawl, saying daddy (I can't tell if he really knows what he's saying yet...), and growling at us. He loves to drop his toys from his high chair, hold his bottle while laying on the ground and playing with his cousins. 

I'm a happy happy girl.

Sunday, December 18, 2011


I deactivated my Facebook. In case anyone thinks I blocked them, I didn't! <3 Bonnie

Friday, December 16, 2011

probably stuff noone cares about.

Last night I was watching Six Feet Under with my friend Trent. If you know the show, that probably tells you way more about my character and lack of proper TV watching than I probably should be sharing. If you don't know the show - it was on HBO... so, you know...

Anyway, there is this family on that show that are totally raising their baby like hippies. They call their bed the family bed (i hate that term) and stuff like that. Anyway, my friend Trent said "I'm so glad you're not like that," and it got me thinking. I thought I would love to do the whole hippie mom/attachment parenting routine. All you see online (babycenter, the nest) are people advocating these things or bashing people who don't do these things.

List of things I thought I would love to do with Apollo or Things I thought Apollo would like:

Baby wearing: If you've seen my baby you know he's ginormous and wiggly. He did not like the sling, he did not like the baby bjorn, he didn't like any of it. He loves to be carried, but not in a sling. I wish he would like the sling, because that kid weighs almost 25 pounds at 7 months.

Breastfeeding - I thought I would be one of those moms who would be able to whip it out no matter where I was/what I was doing (covered of course). Also, I had no earthly idea that breastfeeding hurt. so. much. I found out quickly I was way too modest, and could only breastfeed when I was alone. I did it for three months, and the thought of pumping at work made me sick, it still hurt, and I was done. It was a hard and sad decision, but I was relieved to be done. I will definitely do it again for my other kids.

Co-Sleeping - I don't necessarily mean the whole "family bed" thing, but I planned on sharing our room with him for quite awhile. I thought it would be nice to share the bed with Apollo sometimes, but not every night. Sometimes at night when I'm just too tired, I'll stick him in bed with me to give him a bottle. And then before he falls asleep he hits me in the face a hundred times trying to get comfortable. No bed sharing. He sleeps so soundly when he's on his own, he doesn't really like to be rocked to sleep any more. Binky, night night giraffe, blankie - he's out.

Cloth diapers - HA who am I kidding. I love cloth diapers. I love changing them, I love seeing his little body with a huge puffy diaper on, I love washing them, I love not buying diapers, I love that he RARELY has a blow out in my cloth diapers and I love that I bought probably the crappiest diapers on the planet and they're still working for us. I feel guilty when he poops in a disposable because you're not really supposed to throw poop in the trash. I think I'm going to start using cloth wipes too (CLOTH NAPKINS? save the planet!) Haha. I've really never cared about wasting stuff before, but it's been making me think lately about all of the crap I throw away. (plus I'm saving major bucks)

Another note:

Crying it out - not worth it. I have been letting him cry a little the past few weeks, when he's really fussy and everything has been taken care of. but if he cries more than a few minutes he's either not tired enough or just needs a little more help going to sleep. Usually he doesn't need me if he's actually tired. but that's just Apollo he's a pretty independent kid. 

Monday, December 5, 2011

Last Night --

I fed my baby his night time bottle. I gave him his binky and we cuddled for a minute. I laid him on his back, handed him his Night-Night Giraffe, and he rolled on to his side, hugging it close. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and he smiled through his binky, closing his eyes.

It was definitely the sweetest and most rewarding moment in my mothering experience. 

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Thursday, October 27, 2011


I don't know what my deal is lately, but I am STRESSED OUT. Every night before I go to sleep, I am stressing out about work in the morning. I'm losing my mind. Nothing has really changed, but it's constant stress all day at work. Yikes.

Paulie on the other hand is awesome. Every month it seems like he grows in leaps and bounds and becomes more fun and mild mannered. He finally learned to roll over (both ways) last Sunday, and now he's lunging at things he wants, and starting to cry when we take something away from him. He can hold his bottle somewhat and willingly eats sweet potatoes. He loves to feed himself which is messy but fun. I love him, wanna squeeze him constantly.

I'm pretty sure he has outgrown his car seat. He's ginormous. He's wearing/busting out of 9 month clothes. My niece is eighteen months and I'm pretty sure they weigh the same, and he is solid and strong. He's not really the fattest baby I've ever seen, but he's really tall. He is so cute. Yesterday one guy told me that I had "Such a cute baby". You know it's true if a man is going to stop and tell you that, right? I was thinking about cutting his hair yesterday, because he has all these weird long hairs and then a ton of short hair, but I couldn't do it, the cashier at Walmart said "He has such long hair!". He's adorbs. I can't wait for Christmas with this little guy.

Relaxation tips? Go. 

Friday, October 21, 2011


The sweetest.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Did you see the havest moon?

If not, here's a sweet picture I took that night.
Also here is my sleeping gangsta baby:

And this picture and dress are deceiving. I'm still weigh a million lbs. but look at that baby's sprouty head!

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Love my life.

[Avada Kedavra]
He now has TWO teeth. 

He's busting out of six month clothes.
He loves "Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree" and "The Itsy Bitsy Spider".
He wakes up one hundred times a night lately.
He's peeing straight through his Sunbaby diapers.
At first he thought it was exciting but now absolutely hates cereal.

I'm absolutely in love with my baby boy. 

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Polly Wog has a tooth.

Apollo's tooth popped through today, HALLELUJAH! 
(Pictured above with Kortney Robinson)


- I just calculated some diaper savings and I think I will have saved almost a thousand dollars in Apollo's first year. That's including the disposable diapers I use at night. I bought some pretty cheap diapers but even on the expensive end I would have saved about 500. It evens out the fact that I use formula :(

- I hate when I change a disposable diaper and then Apollo poops in it seconds later. At least with cloth I don't feel like I'm wasting diapers.

- Washing diapers takes only seconds out of my day every two or three days. Start washer. Add detergent. Drop diapers in. Restart washer. Switch to dryer. Done!

- Changing diapers only takes three second more - throw away the wipes, separate the liner and the diaper, throw it in the pail. (this will be different when his poo changes to solid fed poo)

- I like his big fluffy butt.

- He's only had a couple diaper rashes - from disposables each time.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Apollo grows up.

Now that Apollo is 5 months old, I've decided to try feeding him some cereal. The past few weeks have been awful with him waking up several times in the middle of the night to snack. He can't stay awake to finish his bottles because he's so sleepy so he ends up waking up a hundred times. He's been grabbing at our food and sitting up pretty well and weighs almost 20 lbs so I took the leap. I tried feeding him in his bumbo and it just wasn't working out. And he was so messy! Soooo.... I put him in the bath and was washing him up and thought the angle he was sitting in would have been easier to feed him. So basically I fed him the rest of his cereal in the bath. So whatever if my baby eats in the bath. I have no idea why i did that. But whatever, he loved it.

And guess what? He only woke up once the entire night.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Blah blah blah blogs are for complaining?

Today has felt like one of those days where I just wanted to throw in the towel. I am so happy with my life these days but sometimes I feel I just deserve a break. I don't know if it's the fact that I was outside in the heat for hours today because of work (cute cheek sunburn fyi) in a stupid sweater or if it's Apollo's new teething routine of waking up 3-5 times a night. The worst part of the whole working situation is being alone at night. There aren't any hand-offs around here. It's all me or all Aaron all the time. Lonely.

The truth is Apollo is more fun than he's ever been. He's cute, smiley, laughs a lot, screams in delight when he sees his purple sing-a-majig and loves it when I sing the Popcorn song. I really love my life! But tonight I want to crawl in to bed in my clothes and wake up around noon tomorrow.

Also, I turned 23.

Monday, September 19, 2011


Untitled from Bonnie Herrmann on Vimeo.

Accidentally forgot to title this one, but here you go. Popo from 2-4 months.

Friday, September 2, 2011


He wasn't really nervous until 4 month old Kortney showed him up by rolling across the floor.

But you know, baby steps.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

At least we took a picture.

Loving the family snapshot anniversary tradition. (I am so in love with that pajama'd baby).

Long time no blog.

It's been awhile since I've had two seconds to jot anything down. Now that I have a second I realie there isn't much to say. My life is on a strict routine these days.

Wake up, go to work, Aaron goes to school, come home, Aaron goes to bed, play with baby, feed baby, bathe baby, put baby to bed, Aaron wakes up, Aaron goes to work, I read for an hour, I go to sleep. Did you catch that? I see my husband about 10 minutes a day. literally. We don't even sleep at the same time.

I really am loving life right now. I'm enjoying work (what?), I love coming home to my cute and smiley baby, and more and more I'm finding I can get out with the baby when I need to - his schedule isn't so strict and he's napping way less.

Apollo is the best. He is so funny now! He can grab things really well and tries to put the bottle in his mouth, but really just throws it at his face. He really understands that he can participate in the world now he has no patience for eating or sleeping - no way! We used to know exactly when he would just drift off to sleep, but now he fights it (and us). So we keep him up a lot longer. He laughs all the time and he's so smiley and growls/gurgles all day long. Just writing this makes me miss him. Right now he's actually not feeling so good, so the past few days have been a little rough. I did a bad mom move the other day and stuck him in front of Toy Story. I just wanted to distract him from his stuffy nose for a little while. It lasted like 15 mins.

Some things I really need to work on: getting more active and cooking. I changed my schedule to have more time with Apollo during the day. So I still get time to do ... something while the baby takes a nap in the late afternoon. I need to use my time wisely. And we need to eat real food seriously... I think aaron has eaten 8543904 boxes of cereal since I became pregnant. Right now when we don't even get a chance to eat with each other it's hard to feel motivated to make anything. Especially anything healthy. I'd like to get back to the way i was eating before i was pregnant. And dropping a few pounds would be nice too.

anyway, blah blah blah, just getting it all out so at least I know I was alive August, 2011.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Life is good.

Today I left for work at 6am. I started a new shift so I could be with my sweet boy longer during the day and so my husband can get some more sleep during the week.

I am blessed. I'm blessed I have a husband who goes to work and school most hours of the day. I have to remember that when I only get to see him for five or ten minutes out of a 48 hr period. I'm blessed to have a job with great insurance these past few months during my pregnancy and surgeries. And I'm grateful for a sweet baby who makes my life so joyful.

I am happy. I need to remember my trials are small.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Stuff that's going on

Well this week has been fun. Okay maybe the opposite of that. It's gone by in a blur anyhow... Probably you don't need to read this blog because it's all boring.

On Wednesday I was taking a break with Gurney and my brother at work. All of a sudden I started to feel really nauseous and we were joking that I was probably pregnant. And then I thought I was having a heart attack. And then I couldn't talk because I couldn't breathe. Fast forward ten minutes - I was in the car praying that I would pass out because I was in so much pain - But then I changed my mind because Gurney was already trying to deal with me practically DYING in the car - and carrying me into the ER wouldn't have been the best idea.

Fast forward an hour - I'm on an ER bed and the teeny room is full and I'm starting to feel better and I'm kind of ticked because I think they're not even going to find anything. They give me some good drugs and take me up for an ultrasound and the tech tells me I'm pregnant with twins. Ha. I almost laughed. My gall bladder though is FULL of stones. I couldn't believe how full it looked. The thing has got to come out that night or the next day.... coool.... The next few days are a blur - My gall bladder comes out, but there are stones in my bile duct so I have to have another surgery. My mother in law visited but I can't remember anything we talked about. I got to see my baby. My heart rate kept dropping and I kept forgetting to breathe while coming out of the anesthesia. I said a lot of weird things to the nurses like "Only like TWO of those people were even nice to me," after my second procedure. I asked my surgeon "COULD I HAVE DIED?" afterward.

The great news is that I hit my deductible when I had Apollo so you know, thats over and done with.

Mostly I'm surprised that I didn't know anything was up before Wednesday. But I guess these kinds of things happen during and after pregnancy.

This morning I slept with my baby in my arms and it was really nice. I've felt so disconnected because of my surgery and everything. It was really starting to wear me down. I just put him down for bed after his bath ( my absolute favorite part of the day ) and he is just so sweet and perfect... I love him.

I think sometimes I make him seem awful on this blog. I try to keep things real - I mean he's a baby and cries - but he is the cutest, happiest and smiliest little baby I've ever seen.

Also it's my anniversary - we went out for dinner at Goodwood but to be honest it kind of drowned in the surgery bidness.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Apollo from Bonnie Herrmann on Vimeo.

Back to work.

(Adrianne's pet peeve. Pictures of drool/spit up covered babies.)

Today marks a week going back to work after having Apollo. Is it bad of me to say I am loving it? Honestly I feel like I am getting a break (and getting paid to do so) by working for 8 hours. I come home and love on this little guy like there is no tomorrow! I feel like I miss him exactly enough, and he could do nothing to annoy me (not that he really does, but you know sometimes the crying can put you on edge). I love seeing my work friends, having conversations that don't revolve around poop, and having lunch with adults. (am I really an adult?)

The other night when I went to see Harry Potter I had a really rough day the next day. I had barely seen my baby and I was worried that he "forgot" me. I know thats not true and I just like to beat myself up about everything.. but still! It was hard not to see my baby for more than an hour or so. Love that kid man. He's so sweet. Today when I came home he gave me SO much love and smiles. I LOVE HIM.
All ready for Aunt Marci's house.

Apollo really follows this schedule I stumbled upon: sleep routines. After about an hour of being awake he starts to get a little cranky and if I wrap him up he goes silent, and if I bounce him, he goes to sleep. The only exception is in the evening before bed - he'll stay up for 3 or 4 hours. But honestly I love that sleep routine thing... I will send it to each new mom. I know it worked for me, and it might not work for others, but if you have a baby that seems to cry for no reason or won't nap... I would give it a try. I found it after the first 3 weeks or so and it really changed my thinking... anyway

this seems to be our new routine(ish):

I wake up around 7:00 to Apollo's eating requests and he falls asleep again
7:50 I leave for work
8:15 Aaron takes Apollo to my Aunt's house in American Fork and goes to school
10:00 Feeding and play time for Apollo
11:00 Naptime/Aaron picks up Apollo
1:00 Feeding and play time
2:00 Naptime
4:00 feeding and play time
5:00 I come home
5:30 Aaron leaves for work/sometimes Apollo naps but it seems like most of the time he is up and happy until
7:00 Usually once he starts getting grumpy I give him a bath, lotion him up, warm pjs in the dryer... He LOVES bath time and so do I!
7:30 Swaddle and Bottle. killer combination... the kid is out within minutes after laying him down drowsy.
10:00... My plan is to wake him up at ten to give him another bottle so hopefully his long sleep (usually 5-6 hours) is during my sleep time... but this isn't really working, he still wakes up around 2 and 5. I also wish 7:30 bed time could be just a nap, but he won't have it man.... This boy loves his sleep and thrives on his own little routine. I love that he's so predictable.
2:00 Bottle and back to bed (he's awesome like that)
5:00 Bottle and back to bed.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

2 month stats

12.9 lbs
23 1/4 inches long

Poor baby had to get shots today. He is not a happy camper. He was awake for four hours straight just now, and so sad and whiney. Hopefully he will sleep pretty well tonight.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Can't get enough.

Just took this photo three seconds ago. Turned off the flash, put it right on the mattress and let the camera do its thing. I'm so in love it hurts.

Apollo is two months old as of Monday.
As you can see here he is growing out of his 0-3 clothing. and that is a DISPOSABLE diaper under there folks...

He is smiling.

His most favorite thing to do is to sneeze.
He sleeps well at night - but has a hard time staying asleep during nap times.
He loves it when anyone plays with his piggies.
He loooves to be talked to.
He's trying to swat at toys and faces.
And he cannot sleep unswaddled.
He cries hardest when he's sleepy, but wants to stay awake and see the world.
He loves mom, but REALLY loves dad and his grandmas.

and what do we call him?

Little Guy

Pretty much everyone we meet thinks his name is Paolo. So you know. Whatever.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Itty Bitty

My little babe isn't so bitty any more...

How did he go from this:

to THIS:
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! so in looove.

I seriously think this kid weighs like 12 lbs. Everyday it seems like he is getting heavier and fatter.

Also, a lot of people have been asking how cloth diapering is going. You wanna talk about poop? Lets do it. The first 6 weeks Apollo would poop like 8 times a day. Basically every time he ate he would poo. Now, he only poops like every other day or even every three days. AND ITS HUGE. Especially since little Apollo hasn't been pooping as much it is the easiest thing in the world.

Reasons I like cloth:
1. Saving money
The diapers I'm using are Sunbaby Diapers and they are pretty much the cheapest diapers you can get. I haven't tried any other diapers, so I can't really compare, but they have worked really well for us so far. I spent about 100 dollars on 24 diapers (which is probably more than I needed) and I have spent 20 bucks on a box of newborn diapers before these babies could work for us (plus you know... circumcision grossness). So I feel like we are saving a ton of cash, especially while he was pooping alll the time. I think eventually (like maybe when I go back to work) I will branch out and try a few different kinds, but for now these are really working for us.

2. Just as easy as a disposable... well almost
With cloth diapers you do have to change more often - I change him every 2 hours unless he is sleeping, then I just change him when he wakes up - before a feeding. I tend to go a little longer with disposables Overnight I'm still using disposable diapers. Anyway - while he is still breastfed, the poo can go straight into the washing machine. Yeah that sounds kind of gross. But all I do is take the diaper off, throw the wipes away, take out the insert and toss the whole thing in the diaper pail. Then after about a day or two I just dump the whole pail into the washing machine - Hot wash with no detergent and then another Hot wash with detergent and then throw it all in the dryer. seriously so easy and takes maybe ten minutes out of my day to stuff the diapers.

3. They are really cute.

In a few months when he is eating solids the poo will change from an easy, liquidy, yellow poo to a more solid and stinkier adult like poo. Then maybe I won't like it as much, but we'll see how it goes. At that point you have to dump the solids into the toilet and flush it. They do have these liners you can put in the diaper so it all just falls out at once, so thats my plan. But we shall see how it goes.

Monday, June 20, 2011


Okay. I know one time I said that it has gotten easier. And then I said it again.

and then everyday I tell someone (usually Adrianne... sorry I'm a whiner...) that I'm going to quit. Each week I give it another week. Someone told me it gets better after 2 weeks.. and then someone else told me it gets better after six weeks.

and at 8 weeks... SERIOUSLY IT IS STILL HURTING ME. It's just this one side, and it's the side thats harder for both of us latching wise, and the one that hurt more in the very beginning. I feel like it just hasn't had a chance to recover. So once it starts to get better.... he decides to crane his neck or start wiggling around and will not let go - further damaging .... well everything. I'm doing everything right - we have a good latch now, but I think it is possible that my milk supply might be lower because of how awful it was in the very beginning.

BUT - I don't hate it anymore. At first I hated how long it took to breastfeed him and how I had to spend 45+ minutes sitting alone with him. I'm enjoying the time we spend alone together, and now it takes 30 minutes instead of almost a full hour. But to be honest, I get almost the same satisfaction when I give him a bottle. Plus, I can see how much he is getting and don't have to worry about what I've been eating.

It has definitely been a challenge, and it's going to get even harder when I go back to work. I'm sometimes jealous of people that have zero problems with breastfeeding and zero worries about breastfeeding. But these little baby steps of it getting better or easier give me hope and help me continue.

blah blah blah.... talk about something besides being a mom and whining -- right?

Okay let me tell you a secret (Thats not a secret if you've ever met me basically...)

I pee my pants a lot.


Sunday, June 19, 2011

Stationery card

Hello Baby Navy Birth Announcement
Create beautiful birth announcements at
View the entire collection of cards.

Father's Day

I couldn't ask for a better husband, or better father for Apollo.

And I couldn't ask for a better (or funnier) father

and my son gets an honorable mention as well.

The past few days have been pure bliss with these three men in my life. My new favorite memory was made this morning as Apollo, Aaron and I made each other laugh this morning. I love my boys so much.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

A-Pollywog can smile.

Gah, that gummy mug gets me every time.

I love this one... his chunkiness... his cloth diaper.

I'm in love! Well... at least right now while he's sleeping...

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

My Family from


When Apollo has his morning freak out I usually take photo booth pictures with him. I mean, why should both of us be sad right? And also, I donated 10 inches of my hair to locks of love. I've been wanting to do that forever.

Yesterday I went on my first run since I've had Apollo. And it was awesome. I can't wait to be back where I was before I had him. I only ran about a mile and a half and it took me forever, but we will see. I also was able to go to the store, cleaned my bathroom and do laundry. IM COMING BACK Y'ALL! I'm finally recovering from this baby haze... OR I'm just used to the lack of sleep at this point. Here's a typical day for us:

6 am feeding - lately he'll fall asleep for about an hour after this
7 am - aaron gets up with him, I have no idea what goes on at this point
9 am feeding
10 am SCREAMFEST 2011 - Apollo cries for about an hour, inconsolable and finally passes out after bouncing him in his bouncer. until about noon - this is when i get stuff done. (like wash a load of diapers)
12 pm feeding - He usually stays up after this feeding for about an hour and we play until he starts screaming and then i put him down for a nap for like half an hour.
3pm feeding - I usually give him a bottle at this point. I haven't decided if I'm going to continue breast feeding when I go back to work - but I'm definitely not going to pump 3x. He usually will fall asleep after playing for a little bit.
6pm feeding - if aaron isn't home during the evening because of work we like to get out of the house for a couple of hours - like going over to grandmas. He gets a lot of attention over there and will sometime stay up til his 9 o clock feeding.
After he eats and we drive home I throw his pajamas in the dryer, give him a bath, lotion him up and put him in his warm pjs and a disposable diaper. He looooves warm pjs after getting out of the bath and being dried off. We cuddle in the rocking chair and maybe read a book. I feed him 2 hours after his last feeding and swaddle him up and put him in his crib. This is such a nice part of the day for me at least. Even if he's screaming his head off during the bath or while rocking. He sleeps until 3 am for his next feeding and will go right back to sleep until his 6 am feeding when it starts all over again.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Sometimes you feel like a rockstar

And sometimes you don't.

Yesterday I started a post about how awesome I was because for 4 hours in a row I was able to keep my baby as happy as possible - the moment he fussed I knew exactly what he needed. Then.... over night I could do nothing to please the child. Every time he woke up he screamed for about an hour. Usually he's awesome and just gets up to eat and falls right back to sleep. During the day I pretty much know he'll eat - stay up for about an hour - and then he needs to be put to sleep or he will just cry for hours.

I feel like I've lost myself in baby land. For myself all I care about is getting a shower and getting dressed. I had no idea how much time a little baby could take, especially when they're this small and not getting into anything or causing mischief. But right now I am loving it... most of the time. There are times I crave for a schedule again, and almost desire to go back to work. but then i remember how unglamorous my job is.

Also I need a haircut:

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Post Partum.

This picture makes me laugh a lot. It's like I am a real life mom or something. I'll look like this for the next ten years or so. Baby in one arm, diaper bag in the other. Also, my hair is a gazillion inches long.

I lost all of my baby weight in about 2 weeks from when I had Mr. Apollo. Not that that is normal or anything. And obviously my body isn't exactly the same as it was 9 months ago. And it's not like I was skinny before or anything, but I am feeling good! I'm glad that I didn't have a rough recovery. A few days after Apollo was born, I took him to the pediatrician, and the woman next to me had to sit on one of those inflatable doughnuts. Yikes. So glad I didn't have to deal with that.

The first two weeks after I had Apollo I had the major baby blues. I won't go into it too much, but I pretty much cried everyday about the smallest things. I felt like Aaron and I had no time together, it was always separate with baby or together with the baby. My mom told me she felt this way when she had me, and I always thought it sounded so... silly (sorry mom), like DUH having a baby is going to change your relationship right? But now I completely understand that feeling now. But now it just feels right having a little baby in our family and we still have time to just be Bonnie and Aaron. I think a major factor contributing to the blues was that Breast feeding hurt, took forever and still I have no idea if my baby is getting enough to eat which is really stressful. But it all got better.

I do love having a newborn. It's so much fun to be a mom, even though sometimes feel like I am just waiting and waiting for him to stop crying/to just go to sleep. My favorite times of the day are when he is slowly drifting off to sleep. Is that terrible of me?

Yesterday was awesome. It was almost as if he just realized who I am all of a sudden. He looked up at me and said "Ah!" and gave me a big toothless grin.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

I'm going to upload this photo and pretend that he wasn't screaming his head off. yes. he was just smiling and cooing.

Hoping I've found the cure to the morning fussiness.
I think after a long night in the bassinet, maybe he just misses me and needs to be close.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Evening mommy-hood.

I love my baby sleeping on my chest like this. He is so sweet.

My brother came home from his mission to North Carolina on Wednesday, and so far it has been a blast. Also, my cousin Eliza was married on Friday, so between the two, Apollo and I have had a busy 3 days. Today I am enjoying being home with both of my boys.

Being a mom is crazy and awesome. My life revolves around whether Apollo is getting enough to eat. And honestly, how could you know? Do I trust a three week old to tell me he's hungry?? really?? I'm slowly realizing I need to just chill out and roll with whatever feeding pattern he wants. As for sleep (everyone seems to ask), I feel like I'm getting enough but I am definitely not. I have the energy to do whatever I need to do, but then by the end of the day I CRASH and barely wake up to feed the baby, or fall asleep while feeding the baby. It's hard for me to nap during the day, even though everyone says "sleep when the baby sleeps" thats really hard to do. I thought it would be a breeze. Psych.

Breastfeeding is definitely getting better. Really that's all I have to say about that. I remember someone in my last ward (before I was even pregs) out of the blue telling me that I needed to stick out breastfeeding for 13 days, and thats when it will stop hurting. And... it did!

I think my hardest times are when he's crying and I know he's not hungry and not wet and I just have no idea what to do for him. I never thought a baby's cries could affect me so much. It sounds different when it's someone else's baby - easy to ... ignore... not that I would ignore a baby's crying, but I wouldn't panic when I couldn't figure out what's wrong... does that make sense? Anyway, Aaron swoops in and saves the day with a cuddle. I get so caught up in the details like, is he uncomfortable? Hungry? Trying to poo? That I don't realize that maybe he just needs a blankie and a pal.

My very favorite thing right now is playing with Apollo. Sometimes he will be crying and all he needs is for someone to shake a rattle in front of him and he quiets down and gets real serious. He's so sweet. Gah! I love my Polli-bear

Lovin' it.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Two Weeks.

Aaron calls Apollo "Little Baby Guy", we probably call him that more than anything else. Our little baby guy is now 8 pounds, 9 ounces. At two weeks he gained a whole pound from birth! Whaaat? I feel like that is awesome, and makes me think this whole milk thing is working out for him. It's hard to know if he gets enough nutrition.

He has also grown an inch and a half! which puts him at 21 and 1/2 inches and in the 86th percentile for height.

And as for me, I'm back to what I was before I was pregnant. Freakin' Awesome! Now I just have to lose like 20 pounds.. ha.

I feel like there isn't much to say about me and what I've been up to. I'm just busy being Apollo's mom, and googling everything that I think might be wrong with him.

Today was kind of rough. On Tuesday he had his circumcision which I really hate worrying about. One time we took off his diaper and he started bleeding a ton and I called the doctor frantically, and she was like "no worries, it stopped right?" I feel like everything is 100000X worse to me than it really is. Like worrying about his umbilical cord- I had him lying on my stomach, and when I picked him up I must have rubbed it against my shirt and it was half off and you would have thought I killed the boy I felt so bad about it. He didn't even cry! I have to remind myself that there are worse parents out there than me, and their kids turn out just fine.

Anyway, I think his circumcision must be bothering him because it seemed like he cried all day today. I took him outside just in my arms and we went for a short walk and he was in a daze. He LOVED it outside. We've taken him for walks in the stroller, but I think being able to feel the wind on his face or something just made him calm down.

Love this guy!

This is him after we went on our walk. I think he was still day dreaming about it.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Mother's Day

Mothers day? Mother's day? Mothers' Day?

I'll never know.

But here are the detes:

I spent a nice quiet day at home with my number one sweetheart. I love him to pieces.
He's definitely his mother's child, if you've ever heard me hiccup... Well it's loud.

and alsoooo:

Some pearl earrings from my sweet husband. yeah, he's the best.

I also got five minutes to talk to my awesome baby brother, Zach. He is coming home from his mission in 9 days! I haven't seen this boy in two years, he is my best friend. He is excited to meet Mr. Apollo.

Being a mom is awesome and that first week was definitely an emotional roller coaster. Those baby blues come at you hard and fast! I am not sure if I have gone a day without crying about something [usually something silly]. I love visitors, but I REALLY like spending time with my little bitty family. Today we took a family nap... Parents on the couch, babe in the bassinet... and maybe we only got an hour of shut eye but I feel rejuvenated and happy as a clam.
Also, our sweet little baby learned how to cry and cried the entire night last night. How fitting for Mothers Day! The more we fall into a routine (if you can even call it that....), the easier the days seem to go by. One thing though I can't say I'm in love with is BREASTFEEDING. I am definitely a huge advocate for breast feeding, and I will continue to do it, but man... nobody told me how much it HURT. And that they can spend up to an HOUR eating. Maybe my babe just likes to take his time, but I will start feeding him at 6 am, finish at 7 and then he is ready to eat again at 8:30. I do love spending that time with him, and I'm lucky he hasn't had trouble latching or anything. But how easy would it be to just make a bottle.... and give it to my husband.... so easy. But it's all good. I don't know how people go back to work after just a month with their baby. I love him.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

More pictures of my cute little boy.

At the hospital Bella Baby came and took some sweet photos of my new little baby. Here is our latest family photo. I am in love with it.

Here's Apollo at one week:
And here is apollo today:

So cute. I really love my boys.